I’ve seen a good number of emails about “great new opportunities” from recruiters, entrepreneurs and founders alike. That said, whenever I’m met with, what looks to be, a templated or unoriginal email/message, I feel the urge to throw desks. Yes. Desks.
Given that it’s these people’s job to be able to reach out and connect with potential candidates, it baffles me that they can do such a poor job at being personable and authentic. Developers and Designers aren’t idiots, we can smell rehashed material and dead-end opportunities a mile away.
Yet, I continue to see unoriginal, informal emails come my way. Because of this, I’ve decided to take a stand. Over the years I’ve accumulated a few of my own “email templates” I use to reply to these advances. You can use them at your leisure and feel free to tweak or add to them as you wish (and by all means, add your own versions in the comments below).
1. The defacto standard “I’m not really interested but hell, I’ll bite” email
Good for: seasoned professionals
This email lets the person know you’re well enough where you are but, if the right opportunity came by, you’d think about moving on. It also lets them know you mean business. The second paragraph, specifically, demands clarification on a few details most recruiters leave out in their initial email including: company name, specifics about the role (not just necessary languages/programs) and compensation ($$$); it also states what your expectations are if you were to ever leave your current position.
Hey [insert name],
Thanks for getting in touch. I’m not in the market for a job at the moment, but I always entertain offers. I don’t want to waste either of our time. So let’s cut to the chase.
What is the company? What is the role? What is the salary? If it’s [insert companies names or types of companies you hate], I’m not interested. If it’s some [insert role/situation you'd hate to be stuck in], I’m not interested. If it’s less then $[insert the amount of money you think/know your worth], I’m not interested.
[insert your name]
2. The kind “I’m not interested in your company, wish you luck” email
Good for: nice guys
This email is the soft blow. You’ll most likely send this to someone who has been referred to you or an entrepreneur/founder just trying to find his/her way through the early stages of their company. It’s also perfect for rejecting an offer to work with a company who’s in a market you care or know absolutely nothing about.
Hey [insert name],
I took some time to check out your companies website and some other information I found around the web. It definitely looks like you are doing something unique and exciting within [insert the market their company is in]. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right fit for your company right now.
I love starting, working with and helping grow startups. That said, this kind of love requires a heavy investment in time and effort. Knowing that, I need to be careful that I work on [insert "services" or "products"] I can actually see myself using. Not being very well versed in [insert market their company is in], I can’t see myself using the [insert "service" or "product"] you’re creating to its full potential and don’t think I’d be able to contribute enthusiastically to your vision.
I appreciate you reaching out and hope that you’ll be able to find the right person to come on board, be excited and continue the growth you’ve started at [insert company name]. Look forward to seeing what you make!
[insert your name]
3. The defacto “I’d like you to do my job for me” email
Great for: the bitter
This email is key for getting your message across quickly and without much effort. It works great especially when someone has asked if you “know anyone who may be interested in” the role they just spewed up.
4. The blunt “You annoy me” email
Great for: redditors
This email is prefect for when you just simply don’t have the time because you know somewhere a cat is doing something funny with a melon.